How to make a girl orgasm


For men who want to know more about how to give a woman an orgasm

(especially if she doesn't reach orgasm easily)

To start, let us get our terms right. There is a good deal of confusion about what frigidity and anorgasmia really entail. A woman is truly frigid when not only does she never reach orgasm, and never has, but has no sexual desire, no sex-drive, no urge whatsoever to make love.

The truly frigid woman actively repels any sexual approach that may be made to her, and if any attempt were made to make love to her, her would-be partner might find that he was actually unable to get his penis into her vagina, even if he wants to give a woman an orgasm.

But "frigid" is not a medical term, and is rather imprecise.

Total frigidity is fortunately very rare. It corresponds to full impotence in men, i.e. the inability to get an erection of any kind with no sexual desire.

Though there are some cases in which frigidity has physical causes, as with male impotence, the majority of cases of true frigidity have psychological causes. Where the cause is physical - and among such causes are congenital defects of the sexual orgasm, or injuries sustained by the sex organs there is a possibility of remedy.

But such cases are rare. These conditions may give a woman great difficulty in reaching orgasm.

There are, however, two other physical causes which are more common than many people realize. The first is connected with hormone production, and with the production of the male hormone testosterone specifically.

Besides producing their male sex hormones, men also produce a small amount of female sex hormones; conversely, women produce a small amount of the male sex hormone testosterone which activates and regulates sexual desire in both men and women; in other words, testosterone produces the sex-drive; it is a major factor in the physiological balance which gives a woman the ability to have an orgasm..

The amount of testosterone secreted by the woman is considerably less than that produced by the man, in whom it is responsible not only for sexual desire but for the secondary male sexual characteristics, e.g. hair on the chest and belly, the deep voice, and the growth of the penis and testicles after puberty; it also controls sexual desire, the ability to achieve erection, determines male sexual behavior, and the ability to reach orgasm and control ejaculation.

In women, it regulates sexual desire, and women deficient in testosterone may not have much sexual desire.

Hormone replacement for women now often involves addition of testosterone to female hormones, and it is fairly common to give frigid women with a testosterone deficiency small amounts of the hormone in just sufficient quantities to activate libido.

Both women who have suffered from true frigidity all their lives and women who have developed a loss of desire respond to the administration of testosterone.

The second most common physical cause of a kind of frigidity or loss of desire for intercourse is dyspareunia or painful intercourse. There are a number of reasons why some women experience pain during intercourse.

For some women the thrusting of the penis in the vagina can be so painful that they develop a tremendous fear of sex which can cause vaginismus.

Vaginismus is a spasm of the sphincter muscle surrounding the vaginal entrance, closing the opening entirely so that the man cannot get his penis into the vagina at all.

 Some women suffering from dyspareunia do not react with vaginismus as their partner approaches the vagina, but cannot tolerate thrusting - as soon as the thrusting penis starts to move, the vaginal sphincter closes and clamps down on the penis, so strongly that the man cannot withdraw.

Couples who find themselves in this situation can only separate when they have completely relaxed. Dyspareunia, by the way, is not the only cause of vaginismus; vaginismus is often the result of psychological fear of one kind or another.

However, in a number of cases, the pain is caused by small lesions of the outer or inner labia, or especially of the vagina, which may escape notice during a routine gynecological examination. If such lesions are found, they can be easily corrected, and with their disappearance the woman ceases to be frigid.

The important point about all this is that though it is true that the great majority of cases of loss of sex drive have psychological causes, in all cases the first step should be a thorough medical and gynecological examination to rule out any possible physical cause.

Cases of complete frigidity are very rare, fortunately. Not at all rare, however, are cases of anorgasmia. In anorgasmia the woman experiences sexual desire and responds to it with sexual arousal in varying degrees.

 But there is one common factor in all cases of anorgasmia - the woman never has an orgasm during intercourse. Sometimes the pain of intercourse is caused by a sexually transmitted infection, maybe a common condition like gonorrhea or an even more common.


Home ] Individual accounts of sexual intercourse ] Orgasm consistency and external influences ] Preferred Intercourse Conditions ] Individual Interpretations of the Sexual Experience ] Intercourse Frequency and Sexual Responsiveness ] Interrelationships of Orgasm and Also Post-orgasm Feeling States ] Development of female sexual behavior ] How to bring a woman to orgasm ] [ How to give a woman an orgasm ] Female Sexuality and Intercourse (2) ] Men and Women During Intercourse ] Guilt and Shame In Sex ] Male Sexuality ] Male Sexuality, Orgasm, Ejaculation and Sex ] Male and Female Sexuality, Orgasm, Ejaculation and Sex ] Male sexual issues ] Aspects of contraception ] Ideas, influences, and facts about female sexual behavior ] Female attitudes to oral sex ]