Male and Female Sexuality - the Process Of Orgasm (Continued)
A man may have between four and eight violent muscular spasms during ejaculation before most of the semen has spurted out of his penis. Obviously in some circumstances this may not be so: a man with retrograde ejaculation has an emission of semen which subsequently is pumped back into the bladder; a man with delayed ejaculation may find he does not ejaculate at all.
And men who practice Tantric sex may reach orgasm with no ejaculation.
The pleasurable sensations of orgasm subside with the last muscular spasm of ejaculation, and though the heart, which has accelerated considerably, takes some minutes to return to its normal pulse rate, the man becomes aware that the sexual tension has disappeared. For some time afterward he is immersed in a glow of physical and mental well-being.
It is very easy for him to fall asleep, and it is this tendency to sleep that has given rise to the view that sexual intercourse is a physically exhausting experience.
But sleep is not an essential after lovemaking and orgasm; indeed, only a few minutes' physical rest is all that is required before you can return to your daily activities, physically and mentally refreshed.
The woman's experience in orgasm is almost identical with the man's. If a man wishes to know how to control premature ejaculation, he must develop awareness of his bodily responses, and in particular the moment when he is approaching orgasm.
There is, however, one difference that has a very important bearing on the couple's behavior after lovemaking. Her post orgasm glow recedes much more slowly than the man's, just as it takes much longer for her to build up her sexual tension to the point of orgasm.
She experiences during this time feelings of particular tenderness for her partner, and this is the moment when he should take her in his arms and tell her how much he loves her.
The sensations of orgasm, in both men and women, can be so powerful that a person cries out, or moans, or groans, often very loudly. Some women, as soon as the point-of-no-return is reached, begin to make violent pelvic movements and uncontrolled jerky movements with their arms and legs.
At the moment of orgasm a woman in the man on top sex position may arch her back to such an extent that she lifts her husband and supports his thrusting movements until the peak of orgasm has passed.
Occasionally a woman will bite her partner's shoulders or earlobes and claw at his back with her fingernails. There are some men and women whose orgasms are so strong that they even become unconscious for a second or two.
One of the main differences between the highly sexed and average-sexed woman is the speed with which the former can reach orgasm. As we know, practically every man, unless he control premature ejaculation - click here to find out how - will ejaculate within two or three minutes of having an erection and penetrating his partner, whereas the great majority of average-sexed women must be stimulated for at least fifteen to twenty minutes before they reach orgasm.
But some highly sexed (or highly aroused) women can dispense with foreplay altogether and receive their partner's penis as soon as he has an erection.
And if a woman's clitoris is ideally placed, or is so long that it makes contact naturally with the penis, his movements can stimulate her to orgasm within a very short time.
If the man has not ejaculated and carries on thrusting after his partner has reached orgasm, she will probably have a second and a third orgasm to his one.
This ability to have multiple orgasms is present in probably two thirds of all averaged-sexed women. It is in fact a natural result of the slow subsidence of the woman's orgasmic sensations.
Suppose her partner stimulates her by foreplay to the threshold of the point-of-no-return so that she comes almost as soon as he puts his penis into her.
Though her orgasmic sensations recede a little, because it is only a little they can be brought to a new peak if the man stimulates one of her nipples and caresses another of her erogenous zones.
Or supposing she knows how she is able to reach orgasm during sex or intercourse in response to her partner's foreplay before he puts his penis into her, the sensation of receiving the penis and his movements inside her may have the same effect of bringing her back to the peak once more, or even twice, if he takes some time to reach his own orgasm and ejaculation.
Similarly, most average-sexed women are capable of having an enjoyable second or third orgasm if they wait until the sensations have completely subsided and then receive more stimulation. Some even find these subsequent orgasms more satisfying than the first one.
Highly sexed men very often find that they are not completely freed from sexual tension, i.e., sexually satisfied, by one orgasm, an experience frequently shared by average-sexed men.
When the tension continues fairly strongly, the highly sexed man's erection often does not subside and after a pause of two or three minutes with the penis still in the vagina, he can comfortably begin his movements and continue them until he achieves a second orgasm.
Often he is capable of repeating this so that he can reach orgasm three times in, say, twenty minutes or half an hour, a fact which is not recognized because we have become accustomed to thinking in terms of a man having to recover for a few minutes (say ten or so) after he has ejaculated before he can have another orgasm.
When a man has reached orgasm but his penile sensitivity glans remains extremely sensitive, he may or may not be completely satisfied, but this sensitiveness makes renewed stimulation quite uncomfortable, and makes him avoid further sexual activity.
The sensitiveness wears off after a few minutes, however, and he can be stimulated to erection again after about twenty minutes.
When, however, his first orgasm has not fully satisfied him the sensitivity appears to wear off more rapidly and he can become fully erect again after ten minutes or a quarter of an hour.
Both highly sexed and average-sexed men differ from their female counterparts in that whereas second and third female orgasms may be stronger than the first, subsequent male orgasms are less intense, while the period of direct stimulation to induce orgasm becomes increasingly longer.
The volume of fluid secreted by them becomes progressively less if orgasm is repeated without a long enough pause, lessening the impact of the fluids on the erogenous zone of the urethra and consequently the orgasmic sensations.
In general, the shortest time needed for the direct stimulation of an average-sexed male's second orgasm will be fifteen minutes, while very often thirty minutes of manual or vaginal stimulation, or a combination of both, will be necessary.
Broadly speaking, the greater the degree of physical sensation in orgasm, the greater is the release from sexual tension, and the greater the sense of mental satisfaction. It is logical, then, that the object of sex should be to produce the greatest intensity of orgasmic sensation possible.
This is why three or four thrusts with the buttocks is never really enough! Every session of sex should be deliberately embarked upon so that its results are the best that can be obtained!
Many people think that simultaneous orgasm provides the maximum pleasurable erotic sensations that it is possible for a particular man and woman to achieve. On the other hand many men say that they have the most intense sensations if they reach orgasm just after their partners.
The partners of these men report that they also experience their most intense sensations in these conditions; they say that when they first reach orgasm the actual sensations may not be of maximum intensity, but that the thrusting movements of the penis prolong the period of sensation, while the spurting of the semen and the sensations of its hot stream hitting the vaginal walls or the cervix intensify the orgasm.
For the man, an orgasm after his partner may be more satisfying because the penis is stimulated by the contractions of the vaginal and uterine muscles when the woman reaches orgasm.
Any normal healthy man can be sexually aroused, have a strong erection, and achieve orgasm all in the space of two to three minutes. But the number of women in the world who could claim a similar period for the complete process are probably one in a million. Sexual desire is not enough to arouse a woman physically; her sexual nervous system needs far longer encouragement to reach orgasm.
Because of this considerable difference in the tempo between the man and the woman, a definite technique of love-play is required to bring them both to a successful conclusion - a technique designed to slow down the speed of the man's rush towards orgasm at the same time that it stimulates the woman to move faster towards hers.
There are one or two observations needed here about differences in sexual desire. Ideally, a highly sexed man ought to marry a highly sexed woman, but love does not always take sexual classifications into account, and we sometimes find the highly sexed partnered with less highly sexed partners. Then certain problems can arise, though all of them can be solved.
Take, for example, the highly sexed woman and the low sexed man. She needs to experience orgasm with a frequency which his own need for intercourse cannot provide. There is very little he can do about it unless he is prepared to co-operate with her in techniques of sexual stimulation which will bring her to orgasm without intercourse; for instance, by oral sex.
In the converse case, of the highly sexed man married to the low sexed woman, a similar problem arises. Frequent intercourse, or the demands for it, when it is not wanted, inevitably creates all kinds of problems which can ultimately kill desire altogether.
But provided the partners recognize their incompatibility and appreciate each other's sexual needs, and take an intelligent approach to their differences with a degree of give and take on both sides, there need be no problem.
The average-sexed woman can go a very long way towards meeting the needs of a highly sexed partner if she is prepared to overcome reluctance and allow herself to be aroused at times when she feels no sex urge at all.
More than half this reluctance seems to be psychological in origin, for if subjected to a highly efficient technique of lovemaking women can, in fact, be as easily aroused as any man, and the results can leave them equally satisfied.
This is not to say that the highly sexed husband must not be prepared to contribute something, too. He has a ready means of relieving his sexual tension by masturbation and from time to time can make use of it.
Masturbation can be both a sexual experience and a physical necessity. It is also possible for a medium-sexed man to adjust himself to a highly sexed partner, and indeed, it is far easier for him to do so. Medium-sexed husbands are capable of arousal at any time and can derive great pleasure from sex when they or their partner wants it.
For those who fear that sex drive and interest drops after fifty years of age, this may be a helpful resource which offers reassurance and support. you will find that with the right knowledge and techniques, sex after fifty is good sex - just as good as at any other age!