How to Bring A Woman To Orgasm

Overview of women's sexual experiences

Retracing these results, one is not left with the impression that there is a unitary, consistent quality about a woman's responses to sexual stimulation.

It is, in most instances, difficult to predict from one aspect of her sexual response pattern how another aspect will manifest. Consider the findings that have accrued for several of the major sexual variables.

First of all, the ease and consistency with which it is possible to make a woman come (reach orgasm) does not reveal much about how frequently she engages in (and wants) intercourse or the quality of her feelings during and after orgasm or her preference for clitoral versus vaginal stimulation.

It also does not reveal much about whether she experiences pain during intercourse or has a lot of fantasy while being aroused or experiments with a variety of intercourse positions or engages in extended foreplay or practices (and enjoys) masturbation.

Primarily, what it does predict of real consequence is whether there is a sense of being "satisfied" during and after orgasm, whether the average orgasm is experienced as being of strong intensity, and whether there is a perception of self as being a sexually responsive person. For men who want to know how to bring a woman to orgasm, this is important, as it implies there is nor right way to do it.

Even actual and preferred intercourse frequency are unrelated to other aspects of sexual behavior. The only major variable that these two factors are correlated with is self-rating of sexual responsiveness.

The greater the women's actual and preferred frequencies of intercourse the more likely they are to rate themselves as having high sexual responsiveness.

One might also incidentally mention a consistent trend for the two frequency indices to be positively correlated with average number of sexual techniques and positions used in intercourse per month.

But on the other hand, the two frequency indices had only chance relationships with such variables as how to bring a woman to the point of orgasm, the amount of satisfaction derived from orgasm, intensity of pain felt during intercourse, degree of happiness produced by intercourse, preference for clitoral versus vaginal stimulation, and length of orgasm.

Still another example of the lack of coherence in the interrelationships of the various sexual measures is provided by the women's judgments of their relative preference for clitoral as compared to vaginal stimulation.

Despite the central importance assigned to this variable in psychoanalytic theory, one finds that (with a few minor exceptions) it is not significantly correlated with other aspects of sexual behavior.

Whether a woman prefers clitoral or vaginal stimulation tells us nothing about her orgasm consistency, her overall sexual responsiveness, her intercourse frequency, whether or not she has any fear of sex, or the quality (with one exception earlier cited) of the feelings and body sensations aroused in her during intercourse.

The prime impression that emerges is that large sectors of what we call sexual behavior are relatively independent of each other. Sexual behavior is apparently a mixture of diverse elements, not infrequently having in common only their shared semantic designation. At first glance this conclusion may appear to be unreasonable.

From a commonsense view we are inclined to think of people as having a sexual style or a typical way of responding sexually across a variety of situations.

Having made the basic point that large segments of sexual behavior in women seem unrelated to each other, it would be appropriate to repeat again that there are a few sexual measures that are superior to most others in predicting a number of aspects of sexual response.

The most impressive of these measures is a woman's evaluation of her own overall degree of sexual responsiveness.

One finds (as earlier reported) that it is significantly and positively linked with her orgasm consistency, her actual and preferred intercourse frequencies, several of the measures of her feeling state during intercourse (for example, ecstasy, pain), her orgasm strength, the average number of intercourse positions she and her husband use, and so forth. To a lesser but still noteworthy extent, orgasm strength also shows power in predicting other aspects of sexual response.

It will be recalled that it is positively correlated with such measures as orgasm consistency, self-rating of overall sexual responsiveness, amount of satisfaction felt during female orgasm, and degree of ecstasy experienced during it.

The fact that a woman's rating of her overall sexual responsiveness and her estimate of the average strength of her orgasms should turn out to be the two measures most related to other sexual response indices is interesting and a bit surprising.

Although there is little that comes to mind that would clarify the relative effectiveness of the orgasm strength index, one might conjecture that the effectiveness of the self-rating of overall sexual responsiveness stems from the fact that it called upon the women to mobilize and average their accumulated knowledge of many different phases of their own sexual behavior.

 In so averaging their observations of diverse phases of their own sexual response patterns they arrived at a judgment that was likely to have some commonality with a number of the individual phases.

Of course, such an interpretation implies that if sufficient information is available, a certain amount of meaningful continuity can be extracted from the diversity of a woman's sexual behavior, and that this continuity can be expressed in terms of a dimension of lesser versus greater responsiveness to sexual stimulation.

But at the same time, it must be cautioned that whatever continuity or commonality does exist is quite limited, as indicated by the fact that the correlations between self-rating of overall sexual responsiveness and the various other sexual measures are generally low.

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